


Sketch Me Nudes

by Akiko_chaan



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Attempt at Humor, Best Friends to Lovers, Bottom!Changkyun, Explicit things happen, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Smut, he decided to ask changkyun to pose for him, he has to do a nude sketch for class, kihyun is an art student, minhyuk is literally me in this, minhyuk is no.1 changki shipper, this is really just a mixture of fluff and smut, top!kihyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 16:33:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14453313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_chaan/pseuds/Akiko_chaan
Summary: Kihyun anxiously bit on his lip, willing his hand to stop tapping the pencil against his sketchbook. This was fine, this was okay, he was doing good--Changkyun seemed to take a deep breath, laying his fingers around the waistband of his boxers, and pulled them down. "Is this ... okay, hyung?"The pencil snapped out of his hands. God, Kihyun wanted to set himself on fire.Or, alternatively: Kihyun has to do a nude sketch for his art lecture and his friends helpfully advise him to ask Changkyun, a.k.a. the boy that is his best friend, a.k.a. the boy he has had a crush on for ages. It happens what had to happen.





	Sketch Me Nudes

**Author's Note:**

> This is a real mixture of fluff and smut, and probably the fluffiest nsfw I have ever written. This somehow ended up being really long as it also has a background story. Somehow, this made me really soft, haha~
> 
> I really hope you enjoy it, especially the person who requested it! This is a fulfilled request of the MX request forum on tumblr. The request was: A changki college au where Kihyun's an art student and needs to draw something like "the human being real beauty" and chooses to draw a nude of his friend Changkyun, but when they're together the sexual tension is too much and they end in bed; porn with feelings and bottom!Changkyun.  
> I hope you like it! <3
> 
> Also, as always: Please don't read this if you know me in real life or might want to stay innocent.

Kihyun had a problem.

And if Kihyun said he had a problem, he had a real problem. Normally, if Kihyun had problems, he didn't say he had problems. He noticed he had a problem, and proceeded to ignore that problem, until said problem vanished by itself.

It saved him a lot of energy. He had had that strategy for a few years now - it must have developed somewhere in between the ton of exams that had practically been poured over him, at the moment he had just been so close to setting all of his books on fire and throwing them out of the window (and jumping after them, preferably), that the rational part of his brain had just taken over and told him: Chill.

And so he had. And had somehow continued to have a somewhat unhealthy amount of I-don't-care-attitude.

Except there were some problems that didn't solve themselves as easily. But Kihyun was stubborn. And if Kihyun had a problem that didn't solve itself, stubborn Kihyun still vehemently refused to do anything about it. After all, that would be a betrayal to his nonchalant attitude, wouldn't it?

"So, you have a problem."

Thankfully, he had Minhyuk.

"Let's solve this problem."

Unfortunately, he had Minhyuk.

"I really doubt you changing into a ..." Kihyun furrowed his eyebrows. "What even is this?"

"Overall I stole from the chem labs," Minhyuk helpfully provided the right vocabulary.

"I really doubt you changing into a -- wait, what? You stole that ugly, old thing out of the--?"

"Can you finish you sentence, for God's sake?"

Kihyun sighed, conjuring all of his will power in order not to strangle Minhyuk this early into their conversation. "I really doubt you changing into a overall you stole from the chem labs and are probably going to be arrested for and end in jail so I can pay the stupidly high rent for this room as small as a shoe box by myself is going to help me right now."

Minhyuk shook his head, making wild movements with his hand as if he wanted to scare away a fly. Or Kihyun's doubts. "It's not about the overall, silly. It's about the feeling."

"I feel like slapping you right now. Why is it smelling like ramen in here? Don't tell me you ate cup ramen for breakfast again."

"That's interesting. I thought you'd point out the dirty laundry first."

"There's --?" Kihyun looked to his right and almost broke down in utter sorrow. "Oh my god."

"It smells like ramen because a certain someone didn't have time to make breakfast for me and we both know I'll set the room on fire if I try to turn the stove on."

"Some people actually do have to work and can't just live off extra credits for some stupid research studies they made. Research studies I don't want to know how often I was the subject of."

"I did nothing else than watch you for the whole night after giving you the mixture, so don't compla--"

"You did _what_?"

"Kihyun!" Minhyuk angrily tapped his pencil against the clip board on his lap. "Get back to the topic. We only have half an hour of lunch break left. I even bought you ice tea, so cooperate."

Kihyun had known this was a bad idea from the start. But he had been carrying that stupid problem with him for exactly a week now, and it had proven itself to not be something that could easily be ignored. Maybe the reason Kihyun also liked to let things flow their way was because he had no idea how to solve them in first place. And so he was now stuck in this dilemma, namely: Minhyuk sitting in front of him, one leg thrown over the other, clip board in his hands and overall draped over his lap. The only thing that was missing were some ridiculously big glasses, but his glance was already piercing enough.

"So, you told me that you have a problem."

Minhyuk was the opposite of Kihyun. He loved solving problems, especially Kihyun's. When they had first met, Kihyun had thought Minhyuk was majoring in psychology, judging by the many books in his shelves about that topic. But Minhyuk was just a very confused and hyperactive chemics student that liked to pretend he knew a lot about people's reasons for doing things. Maybe he had just watched too much Dr. House. God, Kihyun was convinced he could recite the scripts of certain episodes Minhyuk watched the whole night long in his sleep.

Kihyun pressed his lips together, obviously reluctant to answer. Maybe he already regretted mentioning he indeed had a problem. Minhyuk always came up with the strangest solutions after all ...

He shifted his glance into his lap, trying to ignore the obvious mess around him. How Minhyuk managed to make a mess out of their shared dorm room in the sole span of a few hours although Kihyun tried so hard to keep it clean was out of his ability of imagination. He should make Minhyuk clean up before allowing him to act like his psychiatrist ...

"Let me guess, it is about Changky--?" Minhyuk didn't have a chance to finish his sentence as the pillow hit him right in his face.

"How can you talk about this so casually?" Kihyun almost screamed. "Talk quieter, for God's sake."

"This is the thanks I get?" Minhyuk responded with half-faced offense. "Shownu already said you were too emotionally constipated, but I said, no, you got it all wrong, Kihyun just finally needs to get laid again and-- Ouch! Was that a sock?"

"Your sock." Kihyun stared at him with a death glare. "I hate you."

"The unfulfilled need to get laid often expresses itself in hate directed at close friends."

Kihyun shook his head. "I shouldn't have told you."

"I would've known anyways. Don't you think it's a bit suspicious the browser history is always deleted after you were home alone?"

"Oh my god, no!" Kihyun closed his eyes for a second, willing to let the blush on his cheeks subside. "I was talking about my ... problem. And yes, fuck, it is about Changkyun. Can you just tell me what to do and then forget it?"

"Sweetheart, we've been through this a hundred times before," Minhyuk sighed, laying down the pen after he had scribbled several words down on the paper. "Why don't you just tell him?"

Basically, Changkyun was how all of this had even started. Kihyun would have never been one to tell other people - especially Minhyuk - about his problems, if it hadn't been for Changkyun. Changkyun was how all of his problems had started and sometimes Kihyun asked himself why he didn't hate Changkyun, considering he was responsible for all of Kihyun's sorrow.

But he didn't hate him. To be honest, his feelings were the whole other way around.

It had all started a year ago, when Kihyun had entered the dorm building of their college, one hand around his suitcase and the other one around his sketchbook that he harbored like it was his right arm. Drawing, for him, had always been something he was more passionate about than anything else. It had started with doodles in kindergarten and continued to grow until he had been applying for the fine arts department after graduating highschool.

He had expected a lot of problems would arise from going to college; after all, it would be the first time living far away from home, sharing his room with a complete stranger and being responsible for managing his life by himself. What he hadn't expected, however, was running into a guy with headphones on on his way to his room, trying to hold his bag as well as his pencilcase with his elbow against his chest.

He felt something pushing against him as he turned around the corner, causing him to bump his shoulder against the wall, pencilcase falling out of his arms and onto the floor as the pencils and liners scattered over the linoleum.

The boy next to him stopped, looking at him with big eyes. He stared at Kihyun and then at his pens on the floor. An awkward stutter, hands coming up and taking the headphones off, and before he had even opened his mouth he was already kneeling on the floor.

"I'm so sorry!" The boy's voice was pretty deep, soothing nonetheless, combined with the faint tunes of music still coming out of the headphones around his neck. He was moving on his knees, trying to catch all the pencils before they could roll even farther down the hallway.

Kihyun let go of his suitcase and put down his bag to help him. "Don't worry, it's fine," he hurried to say, seeing the boy's flushed cheeks and how his hands were slightly trembling as he handed Kihyun his pencils. Kihyun nodded, putting them back in his pencilcase and slowly standing up again. The boy was avoiding his glance as if he was too shy to even properly look at him, and so Kihyun took the chance to let his gaze wander over him.

"A-are you a first year?" the boy suddenly asked, interrupting the silence that had echoed around them as Kihyun had - admittingly, a bit too long - let his glance rest on him. Almost as if he had been caught doing something illegal, Kihyun nodded. He wanted to add something, ask for the boy's name or do just anything to start a conversation, but he didn't get the chance to.

"Me too!" The boy smiled brightly, bowing. "Nice to meet you! I hope we'll make a lot of good memories! And sorry! Sorry for walking into you!"

He bowed once again before abruptly turning around and almost running in the opposite direction. Kihyun could only stare after him. What a strange guy.

The "strange guy" as Kihyun also told Minhyuk on their first evening - no matter how weird Minhyuk was, he had managed to win Kihyun's heart in the first two hours as they had been unpacking their suitcases; his puppy eyes were just too much - turned out to be a first year music student named Changkyun, with fluffy, dark brown hair, big, round eyes that soon stared right into Kihyun's soul, a sinful voice and way too many earpiercings. He was Kihyun's downfall.

About how they had really became friends, Kihyun had no idea. Minhyuk had the talent of making friends in a short time, and so they ended up eating with a whole group of people in the cafeteria of the college in the first week already. They all were a bit lost, and so they became friends quickly - Minhyuk became friends with Shownu, a lovely, rather quiet sport management major (obviously because Shownu was exactly Minhyuk's type and Minhyuk was very much active when it came to pursuing what he wanted), Shownu invited Wonho, who was his partner for an assignment they had to do in their lectures, and Wonho was only available in a two-for-one-package with his boyfriend Hyungwon (the sneakiest snake in the whole universe, Kihyun soon discovered, a.k.a.: when Changkyun came into the picture).

He didn't quite remember whose idea it had been, but college life was boring and there were no parties they were invited to - tv shows had been lying -, and so they decided to throw their own party. It ended up with everyone being too lazy to organize booze, and Minhyuk and Shownu didn't need it anyway. They were shameless enough to make out in front of everyone sober, anyways.

Thankfully, Wonho was friends with a guy named Jooheon that was literally living next door, as they found out after a phone call, and somehow everyone except the shameless couple ended up on Jooheon's and Changkyun's couch that evening, binge-watching Disney movies. And well, that was how Kihyun had met Changkyun, somehow, because their first encounter couldn't be really counted as a conversation, could it?

Changkyun was a lot different than what he looked like. It was the second time Kihyun saw him with ripped black jeans, earrings and a tad of eyeliner and, even though Kihyun didn't like to admit appearances had that much of an influence on his judgement, he had expected Changkyun to be more of a badboy, rather than an adorably cute ball of fluff. But Changkyun was exactly that, and, looking back, had there been any other way for Kihyun than to fall in love with him?

There was a spark from the beginning on, and no later than when him and Changkyun ended up taking a walk around the building, both of them having enough Disney for the night, and Changkyun put his headphones on Kihyun's ears, showing him his favorite music and looking at him with a bright smile, Kihyun was _gone_.

He was so goddamn _whipped_ for that boy.

And it wasn't making anything better that Changkyun was always just so nice to him. Changkyun was like a sunshine dressed in black, and he managed to cheer Kihyun up even on his worst days. They met during lunch breaks or in the evenings in one of their rooms, sometimes with the others, sometimes alone. Changkyun showed him his collection of vinyls and CDs of indie bands, and Kihyun shared some of his artworks with Changkyun. They made popcorn and watched stupid movies and just talked for hours.

And it was fine. Having ignored his feeling for his whole first year of college, Kihyun was ready to ignore his feelings for the rest of his life because there was no way he would lose Changkyun over something so selfish, and other than that, he was just an incredible coward and would have probably never confessed anyways.

Sadly, he hadn't completed the equation without Hyungwon. (That snake.)

Ever since Minhyuk and Shownu had become a couple, which had honestly been, like, on the second day they had met, Kihyun was the center of attention in their group of friends - Jooheon and Changkyun excluded - whenever they had a lack of topics to talk about. Somehow their conversations always ended up being about Kihyun and his obviously sad single life. Kihyun bit his tongue and held back his response that the only reason why he was stressed and depressed was the way Shownu and Minhyuk, as well as Wonho and Hyungwon, were always rubbing their relationships in his face.

And then, it happened. Kihyun hadn't known how much he would miss the constant bickering about his relationship status, but he did miss it incredibly the moment Hyungwon attained the knowledge of him being so secretly, as Kihyun believed, in love with his best friend. And all hell broke loose.

Kihyun honestly wondered how he had managed to not let Changkyun know in all the months that had passed since then, considering how openly Minhyuk talked about it in the middle of all public places imaginable. Kihyun was so traumatized he couldn't even stand talking about it in the privacy of their own four walls anymore. But while Hyungwon had just remarked his newfound understanding of Kihyun's situation in a teasing way of embarrassing him, Minhyuk had actually made it his life task to get Kihyun to confess to Changkyun.

(Or just press him up against the next wall and kiss him senseless. What he had done to Shownu, apparently. Kihyun couldn't say it hadn't worked but that didn't mean he was going to do it.)

So yes, maybe, probably, Kihyun should be used to this already. This? Well, him meeting Changkyun almost every day in whatever way, internally freaking out about how much he could love one human being, trying to suppress his feelings and deciding to treat it how he treated every other problem, before ending up running to Minhyuk at least once a week anyways to rant about his feelings because he was weak for Changkyun and Minhyuk the only person he could really talk to about this. Except he ... well, maybe he would never get used to it.

"And I've told you a hundred times before," Kihyun answered, falling back on his bed until his head met his pillow. "I can't just confess to him! Do you know how awkward I am? Do you know how good he looks? Have you listened to his recordings? How can he even exist?"

Minhyuk shook his head, sighing exasperatedly. "You're so whipped for him." He leaned forward. "Kihyun, be honest with me now. This is a very important question."

"Spit it out."

Minhyuk squinted at him. "Copics or Changkyun?"

A groan was able to be heard before Kihyun pulled the blanket over his head, his legs kicking against his mattress. After some heavy breaths - he really was an art student that spent most of his time behind his desk and never did sports, wasn't he? -, he whined lowly, reluctantly responding: "Changkyun."

"Oooooh my fucking GOD." Minhyuk slammed his clip board onto his chair and stood up. "This calls for drastic measures. Banana milk?"

Kihyun whimpered. "Please."

"You know half of your ... no, every single art student except for you would probably murder for copics?" Minhyuk opened the refrigerator and took out two little packages of banana milk. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Just in love," Kihyun responded, sitting up and catching the package Minhyuk threw in his direction.

"I'd throw up if I wasn't just as cheesy."

"It's easy to be cheesy when you have a boyfriend."

"I told you before: Just go up to him and press him up against a wall and--"

"Heavily make out so that we both get detention for disturbing other students and -- why am I even arguing about this?" Kihyun sighed, taking a sip of his milk. "I'm kind of really afraid to tell you about the real problem now."

Minhyuk almost choked. "The real problem? You mean something worse than your unrequited in quotation marks crush?"

"It, um, has to do with Changkyun." Kihyun bit on his lip. "Oh god, I'm really afraid to tell you."

"Hey!" Minhyuk kicked his leg, pouting. "What does that mean? What's the worst that could happen?"

Kihyun looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Okay, okay ...," Minhyuk gave up. "A lot of bad things could happen. But I will behave, I swear. I'm just trying to get you laid."

"Oh god, would you stop saying I just need to get laid? It's more than that. I could theoretically get laid if I wanted to. There are a ton of guys that would probably sleep with me." He stared at the banana milk in his hands. "Pf, I could just ... get laid right now if I wanted to. Theoretically."

"Theoretically."

"Mhm."

"But concretely, you want to get laid by Changkyun."

"Hm." Kihyun angrily stared at the straw as if it was responsible for all of his sorrow. "Honestly, if it was just about sex, it would be a lot easier. There are a ton of good-looking guys with eyeliner and a sense of fashion out there. If it was just about the phsyical stuff, I wouldn't be so conflicted."

"Well, maybe you could just start with the physical stuff and ...?" Minhyuk laughed, seeing Kihyun stare at him as if he was about to strangle him. "Just kidding. The only way to make that happen is a very extreme situation, and it isn't like Changkyun is just gonna walk in here tomorrow, take off his pants and sit down on your bed."

He continued laughing about his own joke as if it had been particularly funny, and Kihyun could only stare at him, feeling a blush rising to his cheeks. Minhyuk looked up, trying to find out why Kihyun was showing no reaction, until their glances met. Minhyuk's eyes grew wide.

"Kihyun." His voice was quiet. "Kihyun, tell me right now or I will put my dirty laundry in your bed each night for a whole week."

Kihyun, well. Kihyun had a real problem.

__________________

Kihyun had felt a strange sensation in the pit of his stomach when he had first thrown a glance onto the assignment paper for the first semester of his second year. It had been that kind of intuition that told you something wouldn't be quite right, although you couldn't really put a finger on it.

_The real human beauty._

What a strange assignment topic. That had been his first thought. Still, he hadn't spent too much thought on it. After all, it would most likely just be a few sketches of faces, some detailed portraits or maybe a photography project.

He really hadn't expected they would have to draw ... nudes.

It wasn't a problem. Kihyun had totally not been hyperventilating that day in class. He had totally not been thinking about how awkward he was, about how embarrassing it would be to do nude sketches, and he absolutely had not been thinking about who he would preferably ask to model for him.

No, Kihyun had in no way been hyperventilating then. He had been hyperventilating, however, about a second later as he remembered a certain promise he had given to a certain someone.

Changkyun and him always helped each other with projects. Mostly because Kihyun was organized and Changkyun wasn't. The younger was always in such a rush with all of his assignments, finishing them last minute and forgetting how to eat, sleep, just do anything, that Kihyun at one point hadn't been able to ignore it anymore. And somehow, over time, an unspoken deal had written itself between them. Kihyun would help Changkyun with his assignments, what more or less meant he would do nothing about the assignments themselves because he had no idea about music theory, but would take care of Changkyun, cook for him and make sure Changkyun didn't stay up for more than two days in a row. In exchange, Changkyun would help him, which meant he would help Kihyun take pictures, go to the art department with him to print his stuff, help him with his computer designs and all craft work that needed to be done.

Changkyun's last big assignment had been two weeks ago, some kind of recording he had to do and some music he had to compose, Kihyun honestly had no idea. He had stayed up together with Changkyun, Jooheon moving to Kihyun's bed for a night as Kihyun provided mental support and a lot of snacks and occasional hugs. Changkyun always said he would have long gone mad without Kihyun. As soon as he got his missed sleep back and was in his right mind again, he always emphasized his promise.

"Your next big assignment is coming up soon, too, right?" he had asked Kihyun the morning after he had turned in his work, sipping a coffee and leaning against Kihyun, yawning. No matter how much Changkyun slept, he was always sleepy. Kihyun just wanted to wrap him into a blanket and hold him. "Make sure to let me know what it is, so I can help you, okay?" He smiled.

Kihyun laughed. "You should rather sleep."

"Hey, it's a promise! You literally stayed up two days just to help me with all of my stuff. I could have starved, or died of dehydration, or ... well, anything could have happened to me without you."

"You're behaving as if you're uncapable of living without me."

"Hm, maybe I am." He shrugged. "But I'm fine with it."

Kihyun could feel his heartbeat quicken. "It's just some project about real human beauty or something like that, whatever that means. Don't worry about me."

"You have the perfect helper, then!" Changkyun laughed, teasingly leaning closer until Kihyun could feel Changkyun's breath on his cheek.

"You wish."

Oh, how Kihyun wished for the first time in months Changkyun and him didn't have that deal. He wasn't that religious, but he started to pray nonetheless the moment his lecturer told him he would have to do _full body nude sketches_. Kihyun saw his life passing in front of his eyes. He wanted to emigrate into another country, maybe Chile, or Greenland, or Sweden. Yes, Sweden did sound good. Maybe about ten flight hours?

But he didn't have the money nor the general opportunity to leave South Korea, and so he somehow had to endure this without running away.

His first strategy: Ignorance.

He himself ignored the upcoming project. Whenever the other students asked him who he'd asked to model for him, he smiled and said he hadn't thought about it yet. (He did nothing else than think about it.) And whenever Changkyun asked him if they had yet received any more information about the big 'real beauty project', Kihyun just said no and immediately changed the topic.

His second strategy had been a bit more realistic to have a positive outcome, but was still straight up delusional. As if talking to Minhyuk would help. He had spent a week thinking about it by himself, and two days before the deadline, he was so anxious he just felt like sharing it with Minhyuk would take some of the weight off his chest. (It didn't.)

And so, after Minhyuk had spent approximately forty minutes screaming about how this was just the perfect opportunity for Kihyun to ask Changkyun to take his clothes off for him, Kihyun ended up at strategy three. Or rather, the strategy he had known from the beginning on, he would end up following. He couldn't risk failing his course. He had paid too much tuition for this goddamn college. He needed to do that nude sketch. He needed to ask someone to take off their clothes for him.

So, Kihyun carefully realized, he had only three options to choose from:

A) Ask a stranger.

Asking a stranger was a horrible idea. Oh God, oh dear God, it was the worst idea Kihyun had ever had. He would be arrested. Was asking someone to nude pose considered sexual harrassment? Wasn't it like saying 'Send me nudes' to a stranger on the street? Was it sliding into someone's dms in real life? Oh God, no, Kihyun didn't want to slide into anyone's dms.

B) Ask a friend.

No. Just no. Kihyun would rather die than ask a friend. If he asked any of his friends, he would never be able to look them in the eye again. He wouldn't even be able to look at them while drawing them. It just wouldn't work. He couldn't look at someone that was naked without feeling even the least bit attracted to them. And so he arrived at ...

C) Ask Changkyun.

Theoretically, Kihyun would have no problem sliding into Changkyun's dms. It wasn't like he was going to force Changkyun. He would be completely free to refuse if he didn't want to model for Kihyun, and Kihyun would understand. He wouldn't even be doing it for his own happiness, although he couldn't deny seeing Changkyun like that was something he had imagined more than a few times ... He needed someone to model for him. And Changkyun was the only person he would feel comfortable drawing. They were best friends after all, and yes, there was a difference to his other friends; he felt more protected being with Changkyun than he did with anybody else, and he believed that the worst that could happen was that things would be a bit awkward after that for them, but that would pass. Screw his own feelings and all the daydreams he would have after that.

And so he made his decision.

(That this decision might have also something to do with all the things Minhyuk threatened to do to him if he didn't ask Changkyun, well, Kihyun just ignored that.)

"Hey, what's up with you?" Jooheon nudged him with his shoulder, pointing at the untouched food on Kihyun's tray. "Normally you eat quicker than I can even raise my chopsticks."

"Um, guess I just don't have that much appetite today," Kihyun responded, nodding slightly with an awkward smile on his lips. He was feeling everything but comfortable, sitting in the cafeteria at lunch break with Minhyuk and Changkyun being both in close proximity. Something terrible was destined to happen, he could feel it. Minhyuk was way too keen on getting Kihyun to ask Changkyun as soon as possible. And usually, things Minhyuk was keen on achieving tended to go wrong.

Nobody, neither Wonho nor Hyungwon nor Shownu was wondering about the silent exchange of glances between Minhyuk and Kihyun anymore. Kihyun was almost certain that the four of them had a secret group chat in which Minhyuk shared all news about his 'Changki' ship with them. Kihyun wanted to choke all of them.

Changkyun, who was sitting on his other side, looked at him with a worried glance, but didn't say anything else. The next thing that could be heard, however, was Kihyun wincing in pain.

"W-Wait, are you okay? Kihyun?" Changkyun put a hand on his shoulder, trying to look at Kihyun's face, but the latter was too preoccupied staring at Minhyuk with a death glare that said _I'll kill you in your sleep_.

"Yeah, sure," he murmured, rubbing his leg beneath the table where Minhyuk had kicked him just like the good friend he was. "I'll just go on eating and--"

"Oh, I actually think you should go to the bathroom," Minhyuk interrupted him, making Changkyun and Jooheon furrow their eyebrows in confusion. But Minhyuk didn't let himself be distracted. He slurped a spoonful of soup and smirked. "And I actually think Changkyun should go with you."

"T-to the bathroom?" Changkyun, the poor puppy, seemed to be so irritated. "Why would I want to go to the bathroom with K-Kihyun hyung?"

Oh hell. Kihyun could feel his body freeze. He was so whipped for being called hyung.

"Kihyun hasn't been feeling too well today," Minhyuk explained nonchalantly as if he wasn't just trying to get Kihyun to have some alone time with Changkyun. "You should take care of him."

Ah yes, there it was. Kihyun had just been waiting for it. He couldn't even eat his lunch in peace, apparently. The soup tasted sour on his tongue. He had been dealing with this behaviour of his friends for months and maybe he really slowly had enough. Or maybe, his feelings for Changkyun were just growing too strong to ignore, now that Changkyun looked at him so adorably. It was definitely one of the two that caused Kihyun to lay his chopsticks down, stand up and reach for Changkyun's arm. "Come on."

Minhyuk stared at him as if he had just declared he was going to really emigrate to Sweden. Suddenly, his eyes had the size of plates. His mouth was almost hanging open. Apparently he couldn't believe Kihyun was following his advice for once. Kihyun could hear Jooheon asking him what was wrong, but Changkyun had already stood up and was following Kihyun towards the exit of the cafeteria.

"Hyung, are you okay?"

Kihyun could see Changkyun wrapping his jacket tighter around himself as they stepped outside in the cool spring air. He looked so angelic, with the wind rustling through his hair and his eyes looking at Kihyun with so much trust. Was it right to ask him? Wasn't Kihyun unconsciously taking advantage of Changkyun's promise to help him?

"Yeah, I'm fine ... I think." Kihyun honestly wasn't so sure how he would feel in a few seconds. He had to ask Changkyun. He had to ask him now, when he knew Minhyuk would kill him if he dared to return without having asked him, or else he would never have the courage. "Look, I need to ask you something."

Changkyun still looked worried, but something else mixed into his expression. He chuckled, throwing a glance at the ground before coming up to meet Kihyun's eyes. Kihyun could see he realized perfectly well what Minhyuk had just been trying to achieve in the cafeteria, then. "You can ask me anything."

Kihyun wasn't so sure about that. He could feel his heartbeat quicken, looking at Changkyun, who was leaning against the wall next to the door. Okay, he could do this. He had done worse things. Actually, no, he hadn't, but that didn't mean he couldn't. He would just try to phrase it smoothly and--

"Can I slide into your dms?"

Oh no.

Changkyun was staring at him as if he'd just transformed into an alien right in front of his eyes. Kihyun raised his hands, waving them in front of his body in a desperate attempt to fix his mistake.

"No, no, I didn't -- I meant-- I meant, can I sketch nudes of you?"

Oh, fucking hell.

Kihyun felt like he was going to pass out. He was going to pass out right now, for sure. Changkyun was staring at him and --

And then Changkyun laughed. He looked like he was genuinely amused by the fact Kihyun kept messing up, and Kihyun was, as he somehow always was around Changkyun, absolutely speechless.

"You mean your art project?" Changkyun asked and Kihyun could practically feel his jaw drop.

"Y-you know about my art project?" he asked, surprised, already having the worst possible scenarios in his mind, most of them involving Minhyuk.

Changkyun scratched his neck. Now he seemed to be the one embarrassed. "Well, one of Jooheon's friends visits the same class as you and a few days ago he was talking about how he was going to meet up with his girlfriend to do some nude sketches and I figured ... you'd have the same project then."

"Oh." Kihyun couldn't describe the weight that fell off of his chest. He didn't even want to think about Minhyuk dropping any more clues anymore. "Oh."

There was a second of silence between them. Changkyun didn't seem too sure of himself anymore.

"So, 'sketch me nudes' is the new 'send me nudes' then?" he tried to make a joke, taking a bit of the tension out of the situation.

Kihyun laughed. "Yeah, I ... guess so. Sorry, this is really the most awkward we've ever been."

"Oh God, no. Did you already forget our first encounter?" Changkyun shook his head. "I still wonder why you even talk to me."

Well, how could Kihyun not? He felt like an old man; he had fallen and wasn't able to get up on his own anymore.

Changkyun looked at him a bit more, and Kihyun felt like he was naked under his glance. Had he been too desperate? Too direct? He would never pressure Changkyun into doing anything for him. Maybe, Changkyun had hoped Kihyun wouldn't ask him, as he'd already known about the project, and--

"So, when do I come by?" Changkyun looked at his watch. "How about seven? Then you can finish your homework and I can shower before."

"Come by for what?" Kihyun was definitely somewhere else with his thoughts.

"For you sketching me nude."

Kihyun opened his mouth. Closed it again. Opened it again. "Really?"

"Sure." Changkyun didn't look nervous, but he most certainly looked like there was still something bothering him from how his glance shifted. "Just make sure Minhyuk is gone by then. The only person that should see me naked is you."

Kihyun really wanted to respond something. But there were three things hindering him from doing so: The bell that started ringing, signaling that lunch break was almost over, the sentence Changkyun was saying, something about having to leave and meeting later, and the fact that Kihyun was painfully, slowly, and absolutely helplessly dying inside.

_____________________

_"Take deep breaths. Inhale, one ... two ... three ... and exhale, one ... two ... three ... four ... five. Just like that. And another time. Focus on breathing with your stomach, not with your lungs. Take deep, slow breaths ..."_

Kihyun exhaled, his left hand placed on his stomach as he tried to control his breathing. It didn't quite work. His right hand was turning his pencil between his fingers, tapping it against his mattress or his thigh. He was sure it was going to snap into two at one point if he kept this up, but he just couldn't help himself. He felt like going crazy.

_"And another one. One ... two ... three ..."_

Kihyun opened his eyes and leaned over to stop the breathing meditation on his phone, before looking around the room to make sure everything was in its right order for the hundredth time in half an hour.

He had come home about two hours ago, had hurried to finish his homework, taken a shower, kicked Minhyuk out of their shared room with the argument to spend some time with Shownu, cleaned up and organized his art supplies so that it remotely looked like he was having his life under control at the moment. Compared to Changkyun, Kihyun was always organized, so he shouldn't have been worrying, but he was just worrying about everything at this point.

He had thought maybe Minhyuk would be able to calm him down, but the opposite had been the case. Once Minhyuk had heard he was indeed going to sketch Changkyun nude, he had had to listen to a whole wave of advice that surely wouldn't help him in any way. Apparently Minhyuk was convinced he was going to get laid tonight, but Kihyun was so anxious he didn't even want to think about the meaning of these words. In all honesty, he would be satisfied with just surviving this evening without making a complete fool out of himself. But that would admittingly be hard - and he knew, no matter the outcome, he would have to listen to his friends' remarks for months.

So, to calm down, he tried to persuade himself that this would just be like every other evening he had spent with Changkyun. He had put on a white shirt and some sweatpants, desperately attempting to look like he totally wasn't going to do highly 19+ sketches of his best friend in the privacy of his dorm room. He had tried to clean up just enough for the room not to look messy, but also not too much so that it wouldn't look like he was trying too hard. Was he trying too hard? Shit, yes, he was.

"Calm down, for God's sake ...," he whispered to himself, standing up and beginning to walk around in his room. It was two minutes to seven. Wow, he had exactly two minutes left to live. Maybe he should have called his mother. Told her he loved her. That she shouldn't look for him when his corpse was transported to Sweden, for the slim chance he would still feel embarrassed when he was already dead.

Actually, this shouldn't be too much of a problem. After all, it was just Changkyun - the boy Kihyun felt the most comfortable with out of all the people he knew. Changkyun and him had seen almost everything of each other by now ... well, almost. But on the other hand, Changkyun being Changkyun was also a really valid argument in favor of his whole existential crisis. How did people who were in a relationship even sleep with each other? They had to look at each other's naked bodies, for sure. How were they still alive? Being in love with someone and seeing them so vulnerable and in such an intimate situation was surely about as deadly as--

A knock on the door pulled Kihyun out of his thoughts. With weak legs, he made his way over to the door, repeating his breathing exercise another time before opening the door and--

Oh, God.

Changkyun looked absolutely gorgeous. It wasn't like it would matter what he was wearing, so he had just put on a basic shirt and a pair of sweatpants, but he looked like an angel that had just descended from heaven. Kihyun's glance flickered from his eyes to his hair, falling over his forehead in soft bangs, and was caught on the collar of his shirt, where his soft, tanned skin was starting to be covered by cloth. His mouth felt too dry.

"Hey," Changkyun greeted him, entering the room as Kihyun closed the door behind them, sitting down on the desk chair and laying his phone down next to Kihyun's sketchbook. "Did you finish your work?"

Kihyun had the sudden urge to just lie, tell Changkyun he had a ton of work to do and wouldn't be able to do the project tonight. But then, there was another, way bigger part of him that was somehow ... Kihyun couldn't find the right adjective to describe what he was feeling.

"Uh, yeah, sure." He tried to look like he was absolutely not nervous. "It wasn't much."

Changkyun looked at him. Kihyun must have looked as uncomfortable as anything, considering he had stopped to stand in the middle of the room, clutching his pencil like it was his life saver.

"Hey, if you don't want to do this, it's fine," Changkyun said, his voice comforting. He seemed more relaxed than Kihyun himself, although Kihyun did in fact notice how he was tapping his feet against the floor.

"You should be the one saying this." Kihyun sat down on the bed next to the desk, fiddling with the blanket between his fingers. "I mean, I'm literally just going to draw. You're the one who has to ... um, model."

"I wouldn't have said yes if it was a problem for me." Changkyun ran his fingers through his hair. "It's not awkward for me, if it's with you. But ... I mean, I would understand if you didn't want to do it. I know you have to finish this project to get a good grade, but I am sure you could also find someone else, even if some people already said no ..."

"Some people?" Kihyun furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean? Who?"

"Well, the people you asked before me, I guess."

And there it was again - that little, bubbling feeling in the pit of his stomach. He smiled slightly. "I asked nobody before I asked you. You were the first one I asked."

Changkyun raised his glance, looking at him incredulously, and Kihyun couldn't hold back.

"And I wouldn't have asked anyone else but you, even if you said no."

It looked like Changkyun was blushing. Normally, Kihyun would have said just anything to take the tension out of the moment. He would have made a joke, or he would have said 'Just kidding' and tried to laugh. But today, right now, he felt different. He didn't quite know what it was, but something about Changkyun's reactions told him that this had been indeed what had been bothering him at lunch - that Kihyun might just be asking him because he hadn't found anyone else.

But now that he knew he'd been Kihyun's first choice, something in the air between them had changed. It was just a gradual change, almost unnoticeably, but Kihyun, in the nervous and absolutely crushed state he was in, was hypersensitive to any change in emotion.

Changkyun didn't respond for a while. Kihyun thought he might be looking at his phone, but when he raised his head, he noticed Changkyun was just staring at his hands in his lap. When he realized Kihyun's glance was on him, he put on a smile and asked: "Well, then, if you're so keen on sketching me, should we ... start?"

It was undeniable that something in Changkyun's voice was different, but Kihyun couldn't put a finger on it. It floated in his ears like milk with honey and made a shiver roll down his spine.

"S-sure," he managed to get out, hurrying to stand up and get his sketchbook from the desk. "I thought we could ... well, I thought you could, like, sit on the bed and I'm gonna draw a sketch from here."

Kihyun reached for the chair as soon as Changkyun had stood up, dragging it in the middle of the room while Changkyun walked over towards Kihyun's bed. Kihyun forbid himself to think about whether he would change his sheets afterwards or let them stay on like the biggest creep, and maybe he should also forbid himself to think about the image of Changkyun sitting on his bed for something other than a sketch while he was at it ...

Even with Changkyun standing still fully dressed in front of his bed, Kihyun could feel the heat accumulating in his body. He'd lie if he said he hadn't had a few too many wet dreams about Changkyun from time to time. He couldn't help it - his body was doing what it wanted when it came to Changkyun. Just everything about him drove Kihyun crazy in the best way, and so the picture of Changkyun in close proximity to his bed wasn't an unsual one for Kihyun. However, it wasn't one he had ever expected to see in real life.

He sat down on the chair, the sketchbook in his lap and the pencil in his hand. Changkyun was standing awkwardly in front of his bed and he knew he had to say something, anything.

"Is this ... really okay for you?" He couldn't help but wanting to ask once more. He couldn't say that this situation didn't feel right, because that would have been a blatant lie. But still, he was afraid it didn't feel right to Changkyun.

"Of course it is." Changkyun smiled brightly at him. "And you don't have to ask me that with every single piece of clothing I take off now, okay?"

Changkyun knew him far too well.

Still, Kihyun couldn't imagine Changkyun knew just how he felt as Changkyun started to loosen the cords of his sweatpants. He pressed his eyes together for a moment, forcing himself to open his sketchbook with trembling fingers. But when it came to Changkyun, Kihyun's self control was nonexistent.

He couldn't help raising his head slightly, looking at Changkyun's movements through his bangs. Changkyun's hands were pulling his tshirt out of the waistband of his pants, pretty fingers curling around the hem of the top. Changkyun had beautiful hands, with long, thin fingers, that caused Kihyun to shiver whenever they reached for his hand, or touched him just anywhere else.

His breath hitched in his throat as Changkyun took his shirt off completely, laying it down on the floor next to the bed. He didn't look at Kihyun as if he would have stopped if he did, and so Kihyun dared to stare a bit more. He felt slightly nauseous from how nervous he was, his heartbeat in his throat as he let his glance wander over Changkyun's skin. He had turned on the lamp next to the door, so that the lightening would be the best he could manage to provide. It made Changkyun's skin shine golden, his collarbones throwing light shadows on his chest.

Kihyun could see how fast Changkyun was breathing by how his flat stomach rose with every breath he took. He wasn't the only one that had problems to get air into his lungs. Kihyun was pressing the sharp side of the pencil against his thigh, so that he could feel the pain from through his pants even. As Changkyun moved in the light to take off his sweatpants, Kihyun could see how his hipbones played against his skin, the waistband of his boxershorts catching on them.

It was too silent, but Kihyun couldn't bring himself to say anything. He feared Changkyun would stop if he voiced a single one of his thoughts - all of them things he shouldn't be thinking about his best friend.

But Changkyun was slipping his pants off his legs, the fabric sliding down until they met the floor. He took them off together with his socks, and Kihyun's pencil almost fell out of his hands. Changkyun should be illegal; he had to, with that body. His thighs looked so smooth Kihyun had to divert his glance for a second to stop himself from making himself even more obvious. His body was screaming at him to do something, as if he was in one of his dreams and could just stand up and kiss Changkyun stupid, but that wasn't how his life would work out.

And then, Changkyun was just left in his boxers. Kihyun felt like he would choke. He could feel a familiar fire starting to burn in the pit of the stomach, and that definitely wasn't what should be happening. He forced himself to concentrate on the sketch he was about to draw. This was just a project. Not more, not less. He could do this. He had to.

Kihyun anxioulsy bit on his lip, willing his hand to stop tapping the pencil against his sketchbook. This was fine, this was okay, he was doing good--

Changkyun seemed to take a deep breath, laying his fingers around the waistband of his boxers. But then, he was already standing right in front of Kihyun, just about two feet away from him. And without looking at Kihyun, he gripped the fabric, and pulled it down.

Kihyun didn't look at him. He was staring at his hands, at his hand holding the pencil, because he feared what would happen if he dared to look up.

"Is this okay, hyung?"

But when it came to Changkyun, Kihyun's self control was nonexistent.

The pencil snapped out of his hands. It made a high noise as it hit the wooden floor. Changkyun's gaze flickered between Kihyun's face and the pencil, and Kihyun was thankful, because the only thing he could stare at was Changkyun. His naked crush standing right in front of him, hands twitching slightly like he had to physically hold back from not hiding himself. Instead, he was showing everything to Kihyun.

And all Kihyun could think about was how beautiful Changkyun looked - how beautiful and absolutely sinful, the smooth curve of his waist and the soft line of his hipbones disappearing beneath his skin at the height of his light pubic hair curling right around the base of his cock. He shouldn't be staring at Changkyun like this, but he couldn't help it. He wanted him, he wanted everything of him so badly he had to physically hold back, instead standing up and reaching for the pencil that had fallen on the floor.

"Can ... Can you sit on the bed with your right leg on the bed and your left foot on the floor?"

His voice was trembling dangerously. His grip around the pencil was way too tight. God, Kihyun wanted to set himself on fire. He sat down on the chair again, in the same moment Changkyun sat down on the bed, and Kihyun tried his best to press his legs together, slightly leaning forward to balance the sketchbook on his knees. He was glad he had decided to wear sweatpants instead of jeans, because it wouldn't be as obvious that he was actually starting to get hard. He could feel warmth pooling in the pit of his stomach, making his cock in his pants only swell more; he feared soon the bulge would be obvious even in the loose-fitting sweatpants.

The only way to avoid Changkyun noticing, was to get his job done quickly, then. He closed his eyes for a split second, before raising his head and looking at Changkyun. This time, he was looking Kihyun right in the eye, his gaze dark and tinted with something that made Kihyun's skin tingle. He had propped his right leg on the bed, knee bent; his left foot was on the floor, so that his legs were slightly spread, but thankfully, or maybe, maybe unfortunately, his thigh was covering everything that would have caused Kihyun to stare even more than he was already doing.

"Just ... stay like this," he whispered, gripping his pencil and trying to start. His hand was trembling so much that he feared the sketch would look nothing like a human body. But he wanted to perceive Changkyun's beauty, put it on paper, maybe also for him to look at it, as he didn't have any photos of his best friend naked. He could feel a sense of guilt rising inside of him, knowing perfectly well that he'd probably end up jerking off to a mere sketch of someone he desired so much.

His pencil was gliding over the paper slowly. Only Changkyun's heavy breathing was audible. Kihyun was trying to get a rough sketch onto the paper before he got into details. He worked on the proportions for Changkyun's shoulders, his gaze caught on his nipples; they were hard, clearly showing Changkyun was either cold or ... Kihyun pressed his lips together, forcing himself to continue drawing.

The curve of his hip was perfect; it was like a soft stroke over the paper, barely touching it. Kihyun just looked at it, and then at the sketchbook. With each passing glance onto Changkyun's body it became harder to concentrate on his work. He didn't know how long he would be able to keep this up. His whole body was hurting from the sheer arousal he felt, his legs pressed together as he was desperately trying to conceal the state he was in.

He was just about to continue the line towards Changkyun's thigh and knee, as he noticed Changkyun had slightly changed his position, drawing his leg closer to his body, the position less suited to be used as a sketch.

"Can you ... can you move your leg a bit to the right?"

"Like this?" Changkyun asked. His voice was so deep Kihyun felt a shiver run through his body.

"N-no. The other ... I mean, the other side."

There was a second of silence. Kihyun could feel the air burning around him.

"I don't really get it. Can you ..." Changkyun's hand seemed to grip the sheets. "Can you show me?"

Kihyun didn't know why he didn't just keep sitting on his chair, keeping his distance from Changkyun and his legs pressed together. There was no rational thing he was doing in this situation; he felt like his body was connected to strings being moved by Changkyun, and so all he could do was helplessly comply. He knew now what he had felt earlier and still felt now, after all: hope.

Maybe, maybe he didn't care if Changkyun saw just how hard he was from looking at his naked body.

If he hadn't already noticed anyway - from the way Kihyun was breathing and from how his hands were trembling as he stood up, laid the sketchbook down on the chair and crossed the distance between him and Changkyun, until he was standing right in front of him, looking down at him, whispering: "Can you ... move your leg a bit?"

Changkyun's eyes were so dark he felt like drowning in them. "Like this?"

Kihyun looked at him as Changkyun moved his leg to the side, indirectly spreading his legs. Kihyun's glance fell where it had to fell; a wave of heat running accross his body as his eyes focused on Changkyun's cock, hard and leaning towards his stomach prettily. His legs were shaking as he spread them wider for Kihyun, almost like an invitation.

Kihyun stared at him. At his body and then at his face, and Changkyun inhaled shakily, and quietly asked: "Hyung ...?"

He didn't get to finish his question, as Kihyun was already reaching for his neck, pulling him close and pressing his lips against Changkyun's. They were hot, as hot as Kihyun felt in every fiber of his body as he moved against them, Changkyun's breath washing over his tongue. He could feel Changkyun's fingertips pressed against his back, then against his jaw.

He gasped in between the kiss, his lips barely leaving Changkyun's. "Is this ...," he whispered against his lips, "Is this okay?"

"Kiss me more," Changkyun demanded, pulling Kihyun down onto him as he fell back against the mattress. Kihyun came to settle between his legs, propping himself up with his elbows next to Changkyun's waist. His lips were hungrily moving against Changkyun's mouth, tongue on tongue and gasps for air inbetween. 

Changkyun leaned back, reaching for Kihyun's shirt. "Take this off, fuck, please take this off," he murmured, looking at Kihyun for consent. As Kihyun nodded, he dragged the shirt over his head, his hands coming up to roam over Kihyun's chest, fingernails grazing his nipples and fingertips pressing agaist his hipbones.

Kihyun couldn't think straight anymore; he couldn't think anything anymore, his mind and body solely focused on Changkyun. It was a wonder he knew what to do, but maybe he had dreamt about it just often enough, about how he held Changkyun, hands on his back, bringing him closer until their chests were touching, feeling every breath Changkyun took.

Kihyun didn't know how long they made out messily like this, the kisses only gradually slowing down until Changkyun's swollen lips were moving against his own like waves. Changkyun's fingers were running through his hair, caressing his skin affectionately.

"Is this too quick?" Kihyun was pressing soft kisses on Changkyun's jawline, admiring the way soft breaths fell out of his mouth. "I don't want you to ... do anything you don't want to."

"Do you know how long I've been in love with your oblivious ass?" Changkyun chuckled, breathing heavily. "I'd do everything. I mean, with you. I want to. I want you. Please. Except ... I mean, except you are ...?"

"Not hard?" Kihyun asked with a breathy laugh. "Because, God, I am. And I'd really like to take those pants off."

"I actually meant, not okay with it," Changkyun responded, "but, fuck, I can deal with hard too."

Kihyun felt a shiver roll down his spine at the low moan out of Changkyun's mouth as he bucked up his hips, feeling Kihyun's erection against his through the fabric of his sweatpants. "I'm okay with anything as long as it's with you," he whispered. "God, that was cheesy."

"I like cheesy." Changkyun reached for his sweatpants. "And I like you. But I really, really hate those sweatpants."

"We can burn them." Kihyun helped Changkyun to get them down to his knees before kicking them off his legs.

"Mhmm," Changkyun murmured, hands caressing Kihyun's sides, making goosebumps arise on his skin while he kissed his collarbone. "Burn those boxers, too."

Kihyun couldn't help the spark of love that took hold of his body as he looked at Changkyun, the trust in his eyes supported by the way he touched Kihyun's body. He wanted to ask himself if he was dreaming, but Changkyun was too real to be an illusion. He smelled like home. He smelled like everything Kihyun wanted.

It was different than before, now that they were touching in all places, lips bruised from kissing and hair disheveled, even though Kihyun was now the one that slid the boxers off of his body, leaving them on the pile of clothes next to the bed. He felt less nervous, looking at Changkyun, their bodies still having some kind of space between them. He almost moaned at the feeling of finally freeing himself from the restraints of his clothes.

"Gone," he whispered, looking down at Changkyun. The bangs were falling over his forehead softly, his lips tinted a light red. "Can I ...?"

Changkyun took his decision. His hands on Kihyun's back wandered lower, until they reached his ass, softly pressing down at the same time as raising his own hips.

Moaning, Changkyun buried his face in the crook of Kihyun's neck as their cocks rubbed against each other, the friction he had been waiting for so long unbelievably arousing. Kihyun felt another wave of heat roll over him. He reached down, stroking Changkyun's hip to let him know what he was about to do, until his hand wrapped around both of their cocks, slowly moving up and down, thumb brushing over the tips.

"H-hyung," Changkyun moaned, a groan leaving Kihyun's lips almost immediately. Changkyun's hips were moving against his hand and God, it felt so good, his cock against Changkyun's. He reached up with his other hand, fingers rubbing Changkyun's nipple until he could feel Changkyun's fingernails digging into the small of his back.

"W-Wait," Changkyun suddenly said and Kihyun looked up, worried, immediately stopping all of his movements. He wanted to pull back, but Changkyun kept him locked in place, shaking his head. "No, no, I just, I meant ... do you ..."

His hips unconsciously moved against Kihyun's hand. "Can I ... feel you? Can I feel you?"

"Feel me?" Kihyun didn't even know how to express how much Changkyun talking turned him on. "S-sure, just ..." He reached for Changkyun's hand, guiding him down until his fingers wrapped around his cock. His hand around Changkyun's was trembling, and a moan left his lips as he felt Changkyun's touch.

"No, I meant ..." Changkyun held back with his words, a slight blush tinting his cheeks. Kihyun smiled.

"What is it?" he asked. "Just tell me."

"Here." Changkyun gripped Kihyun's hand, raising his hips slowly and letting their hands wander lower, until Changkyun pressed Kihyun's fingers against his rim, his cock immediately twitching against Kihyun's. "Feel you here."

Kihyun held his breath for a second. Only an hour ago, he hadn't even dared to imagine he'd ever touch Changkyun liked this, somewhere so intimate, and right now Changkyun was telling him he should touch him there, do something, anything ... He should know how to do this, and he should know what to do, but doing it for real was something entirely different. "Are you sure?"

"To be honest with you," Changkyun explained, "I feel like we've been dating for a year already, anyways. So yeah, I am sure. I waited way too long for this. I don't want to waste precious time anymore. I want you, I mean, I ... I need you. If you're okay with that."

"I'm ..." Kihyun stuttered out a breath. "I'm more than okay with that, but what I am not okay with is how much you talking is turning me on, oh my God."

"Does it turn you on ... hyung?" Changkyun chuckled, but his smile soon developed into a smirk as he feel Kihyun leaking more precum onto his stomach. Kihyun could feel Changkyun's body shivering beneath his. "I see."

"Then ... does it turn you on if I do this?" Kihyun tried to copy the smirk, his fingers on Changkyun's thigh slowly wandering higher until the found his entrance, fingertips pressing against the rim ever so slightly in round motions. A part of him was feeling embarrassed about being so active, doing something so sexual, but then, a way bigger part of him told him it was fine. This was Changkyun. God, this was Changkyun, and he wanted Kihyun to do this.

"Don't tease me like that," Changkyun whimpered, face buried in Kihyun's shoulder. "It does, so ... please put them ... in."

"Fuck ... you're so hot." Kihyun pressed a kiss against the side of his neck. "But ... I don't want to hurt you."

"Lube, condom," Changkyun moaned. "Do you have some?"

"No, but I've seen enough porn to know it won't feel good for you without, so we're just gonna use Minhyuk's."

Changkyun almost kicked for him as Kihyun got up and walked over to Minhyuk's nightstand. "Ugh, how ... what if Shownu and Minhyuk ... I mean, do we really ..."

Kihyun opened the first drawer and held up a bottle of lube as well as a condom like a victory. "I don't know or want to know what they did with that, but either we use that or we put our clothes on and go buy some."

"Your sweatpants and boxers are unofficially burnt so don't even think about going anywhere," Changkyun protested, sitting up and grabbing Kihyun's wrist, pulling him down onto the mattress again. "Also, I'm not gonna go out there with a boner, and you can swear to God I won't cum without your cock inside of me today."

Kihyun closed his eyes for a second, holding onto Changkyun's waist. "Jesus, where did you learn to talk like this?"

"Porn," Changkyun answered immediately. "Normally I am tempted to pretend I have a lot of experience, but ... I think I can be honest with you on this one."

"Don't tell me we are two virgins using our friend's lube and trying to reenact porn."

Changkyun smiled. "We don't talk about the owner of the lube, and also we're not trying to reenact porn, because this is a lot better already."

Kihyun didn't get a chance to answer, as Changkyun was already kissing him again, hips bucking up into his, making the moans start to spill out of his lips again. He was melting in the arms of this boy, and it felt so goddamn right. Every touch made goosebumps rise on his skin. He felt like he was being electrocuted.

"We ... do this together?" Changkyun asked, a slightly nervous expression in his eyes as he held up the lube.

"Of course" Kihyun responded, pressing a soft kiss onto his cheek. "Promise me you tell me immediately if anything hurts, alright?"

Changkyun nodded, eyeing Kihyun nervously as he coated his fingers in the clear substance, but it was undeniable the sole sight was already making him even harder, his cock twitching continously against Kihyun's. He reached down, spreading his legs and pulling them apart by his knees, but quickly reached up again as he saw Kihyun's head tilt.

"D-don't look," he said, a blush spreading on his cheeks. "Don't look, that's embarrassing."

"I think every inch of you is beautiful." Kihyun didn't know where all of these sentences came from, nor did he know what exactly he was doing right now, fingertips spreading the lube around Changkyun's hole. "But I have to look at your face anyway to see if you're in pain so ... don't worry."

There was a slightly uncomfortable expression on Changkyun's face as the first finger breached his rim, slowly sliding inside until the knuckle. Kihyun tried to distract him, kissing him and touching his nipples in a way he had already found out would make Changkyun whimper. His hole felt so tight around Kihyun's finger that he was really careful when he started moving his finger in and out, putting a bit more lube onto his fingers as Changkyun gave him the okay for the second one.

There was nothing more arousing than Changkyun lying beneath him, pressing his eyes together because of how good it felt, moans spilling out of his lips whenever another finger entered, teeth coming down to bite on his bottom lip when Kihyun started moving his fingers. Changkyun held onto his arm tightly, solely whispering 'hyung' from time to time as to do something for Kihyun when he couldn't touch him in their current position.

"Is this okay?" Kihyun asked to make sure as the third finger had entered, his lips detaching from Changkyun's. He moved his fingers slowly inside of him, stroking his walls and trying to stretch him enough. By now, Changkyun was trying to fuck himself on his fingers, hips constantly moving against Kihyun's hand, and his own cock ached from how hot that image was.

"You can ... do it with your cock now," Changkyun whispered, a bead of sweat rolling down his face. "I'll need a minute or two to adjust but it should be fine."

"Okay," Kihyun responded, a nervous tint to his voice. Changkyun smiled; reaching for the lube, he gestured Kihyun to come closer. "Wait, let me do that."

Kihyun couldn't hold back the moan escaping his lips as Changkyun's thumb pressed into his slit, his fist moving up and down before opening the condom and rolling it over his shaft, proceeding to spread the lube over his cock. Changkyun spread his legs, pulling Kihyun closer so that his hips were resting on Kihyun's thighs. With a flustered expression, not looking at Kihyun, he said: "You ... you can look now. If you want."

"Don't be scared," Kihyun reassured him, trying his best to stay calm. "I'll make sure it feels good for you, okay?"

Changkyun nodded, one hand reaching out for Kihyun to hold their foreheads against each other while his other hand gripped the sheets. Even after being fingered he was still so tight that there was a slight pain from the stretch as Kihyun positioned himself and slowly pushed the tip of his cock into Changkyun's ass. Changkyun's cock was tinted red by now, leaning against his stomach almost desperately. Kihyun tried to keep track of all the ways Changkyun responded to his movements, so that he could stop if something happened, but after the initial pain Changkyun's hips were slowly moving unconsciously on their own, moans leaving his lips.

He held onto Changkyun's hips, guiding him onto his cock, groaning as he felt the pleasure of how good Changkyun felt around him. "H-hyung," Changkyun almost screamed as, after a while, Kihyun had entered fully, his thighs pressed against Changkyun's cheeks, Changkyun's insides around him so warm and tight he almost couldn't breathe. He reached out with his hand to hold Changkyun's, fingers intertwined.

"Please move," Changkyun moaned after another few moments, already trying to move his hips on his own, but Kihyun was holding him securely, only slowly beginning to move in and out of Changkyun, his thrusts getting harder and deeper with how more desperate Changkyun almost begged for his cock, mixing his name and various groans of 'hyung' inbetween his moans, head buried in the crook of Kihyun's neck, lips of his nipples or mouth on mouth.

He felt like he was one with Changkyun, the other clinging onto him and the sheets, some praises leaving his mouth from time to time as they made love on top of the covers, bodies moving against each other. He was running his nails over Kihyun's back, whimpering from how good it felt to have Kihyun fill him up.

"I don't ... ah, I don't think I can last any ... longer," Kihyun managed to get out, reaching downwards to take Changkyun's cock in his hand, alternating between jerking him off and running his thumb over the tip. He wanted to make Changkyun cum, to make him feel good like he had never felt good before - it was the same kind of desire he had felt for him before touching him, and now it was burning inside of him like a flame.

"K-Keep doing that, fuck," Changkyun moaned, almost sobbing out of pleasure. "I'm coming, fuck, Kihyun, don't--don't stop--"

Kihyun didn't stop; he kept on jerking Changkyun off as he continued fucking him, feeling his orgasm before he saw it. He could feel Changkyun's muscles around him contracting, his cock in his hand twitching before he came onto Kihyun's hand and his own stomach, painting it with white semen. Kihyun kept moving inside of him, only slowly in order not to overstimulate him, but it didn't need anything more than a few more thrusts for him to come, too.

Changkyun's hand coming down to hold his, he spilled his cum into the condom with a loud moan, feeling Changkyun's lips on his neck, holding onto him as his body shook with the force of his orgasm. He felt like his whole body just went limp with all the pleasure he was feeling, and he barely had the strength to hold himself up anymore.

Changkyun held him, turning Kihyun around as he slipped out of Changkyun. Legs intertwined, Kihyun pulled Changkyun closer, until his head was resting right below Kihyun's chin. His breathing was only slowly calming down, his whole body exhausted and tired, but just so ... happy. He couldn't help but laugh, unable to hold back from smiling against Changkyun's hair as his fingers ran through it.

"So, you like me?" he asked, the smile audible in his voice, hoarse from the moaning. Changkyun hummed against his shoulder, his hands drawing patterns on Kihyun's back.

"A bit too much," he whispered, making a sound of disapproval as he could feel the strange feeling of his cum drying on his chest. "We should clean up, hyuuung ..."

Although Kihyun was reluctant to get out of this position, he gave in. "You don't do anything. Let me clean you up."

Changkyun looked at him as he got up, discharged the condom into the waste bin and got a few wet tissues out of the bathroom. His skin seemed to glow as Kihyun leaned over him, gently wiping the cum off his stomach and getting rid of any excess lube, although Changkyun squealed and hid his face in hands.

And Kihyun, well, Kihyun could just stand there and stare at him, the beautiful boy laying on top of his sheets. The feeling inside of his chest was becoming overwhelming, and Changkyun looked at him through his fingers, a questioning expression in his eyes. "Kihyun?"

"I'm really ..." Kihyun took a deep breath, smiling as he continued: "Really happy. And ... really, really in love with you."

Changkyun's smile faltered, until he was just looking at Kihyun with wide eyes. Before Kihyun could ask what was wrong, Changkyun had already gotten up, stumbling a bit over his own feet until he stood in front of Kihyun, reaching out and leaning forward to let their lips meet. Kihyun melted against him, the wet tissues falling out of his hands as he lowered them to hold onto Changkyun's waist.

"Can you say that again?" Changkyun asked, smiling against Kihyun's lips.

"I'm in love with you."

"Again."

"I wished I would've told you sooner."

Changkyun brushed a strand of hair out of Kihyun's face. "Why didn't you?"

"Well, you're ... you're my best friend," Kihyun answered, feeling a bit self-conscious, revealing why he hadn't taken the first step a lot earlier. "I was afraid our friendship would break apart."

"And so you decided to slide into my dms?"

"Oh my God," Kihyun groaned, laughing. "You'll never let this go, will you?"

"Nope." Changkyun scratched his neck. "Not now that I know I don't have to be afraid anymore."

"You were afraid?" Kihyun furrowed his eyebrows. "But you seemed so ... confident."

"I was dying inside. Do you know how nervous I was when I asked you to show me?" Changkyun's laugh sounded beautiful in Kihyun's ears. "I thought I would faint on the spot. But then, I tried to look at it objectively and I mean, I could feel there was some ... tension. Had been for a while. And I thought, if not now, when then? I've been holding these feelings inside for way too long, after all."

"Why ... why didn't you tell me then?" Kihyun knew it was a stupid question to answer, considering he hadn't done anything either, but he still felt like he needed to know.

Changkyun shrugged. "You're ... you're so organized. And you make the best jokes. And you look good in everything. You can even cook. You took care of me, but you take care of everyone. I just didn't know why you would like me. So I figured it was more likely you didn't."

"Hey, how could I not?" Kihyun smiled, looking at how Changkyun seemed to blush. "Also, you should get used to me being so cheesy, I cannot help myself around you."

Changkyun avoided his eyes for a moment, instead looking at the floor, and so Kihyun pulled him closer, whispering: "But ... seriously. You're perfect."

Halfheartedly, Changkyun hit Kihyun's chest with his hand. "I'm going to cry if you don't stop."

"Then I'll stop," Kihyun responded, a smile playing around his lips. "Do you want to cuddle?"

"Come here."

Kihyun made sure to place the blanket over them as they laid down, Changkyun's arms wrapped around his waist, his breath on Kihyun's skin. He could feel the heat radiating off Changkyun, lulling him into a warm cocoon; he had never felt this safe before, he noticed, a feeling in his ribcage like something wanted to get out.

"Hey, Kyun," he whispered, running his hands down Changkyun's back. "Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

There was a second of silence, and Kihyun thought he would feel anxious about Changkyun's answer, but he didn't. He was sure he knew it already, anyway. "Only if ... you sketch me nude more often," Changkyun laughed.

"Oh, we can do that," Kihyun answered. "I have to sketch you at least once more, anyways. The sketch, it ... well, it didn't really turn out the way I wanted it to."

"Hm?" Changkyun raised his head, looking at him. "Why?"

"A certain someone was distracting me. Rather than copying the art, I was too occupied looking at the real artwork."

Kihyun couldn't help but giggle as Changkyun teasingly hit him again, hiding his face in his hands once more, murmuring something about "cheesy" and "dying".

It was only a bit later, that Kihyun could clearly hear him mumbling the answer against his skin: "Of course."

He still couldn't believe it. He was afraid he'd wake up to Changkyun gone like an illusion, so he tried not to fall asleep in the first place, instead just looking at Changkyun as he buried his face in Kihyun's chest, his hot breath washing over Kihyun's skin in a way that made goosebumps rise on it. And Kihyun couldn't help but smile - he smiled like an absolute idiot, from one ear to another.

Apparently, he had fallen asleep after some time nonetheless, because he woke up to the faint noise of voices outside the door. Changkyun, who, thankfully not an illusion, was moving slightly against his chest, blinked in confusion at the noise, looking up at Kihyun questioningly. Kihyun could feel the warm spark of love in his chest at the look of Changkyun's sleepy face. He smiled at Changkyun's pout, gesturning him to move to the side a bit so Kihyun could stand up.

He tried to be quiet as he crossed the room, walking on his tiptoes towards the door. The closer he came, the more clearly he could distinguish the voices. When he noticed what they were talking about, he almost broke down laughing.

"... they sleeping?" Wonho asked outside the door. "Then we shouldn't wake them--"

"Shhh," another voice - Minhyuk, Kihyun noted - interrupted him. "Be quiet, or I can't hear anything!"

"What do you even want to hear?" This was Jooheon.

"He wants to hear them fucking," Hyungwon helpfully provided an answer and Jooheon as well as Wonho seemed to squeak.

"Shhh, all of you!"

"Minhyuk, just because Shownu and you made out on your first date--"

"Actually, it was our second date," Shownu interrupted.

"-- doesn't mean we have to wait in front of our friends' room just to hear them ... oh my god, that is so creepy!"

"Jooheon, that is my room. I have all the rights to do this. Also, I've been trying to get them to confess to each other for a year, I am having an emotional crisis by now!"

"I'm just saying, if I hear one of them moaning even once, I will run."

"That's why--"

Kihyun wanted to turn around to Changkyun to proposition some kind of joke, but Changkyun - he just knew him too well.

"Baby?" he asked unnecessarily loud, sitting up in the bed with a broad smile on his lips. "Baby, come back to bed!"

Kihyun could immediately hear everyone outside of the door turning quiet.

"I'm coming, babe!" he called back, trying hard to hold back the laugh threatening to spill out of his lips. "Second round?"

He thought he could hear someone screaming outside of the door, but by then, he had already crossed the distance between the door and the bed, letting himself be pulled onto the mattress by Changkyun.

"Second round, hm?" Changkyun whispered, smiling brightly at him.

"Well, we have to get them to leave, don't we?"

Changkyun laughed against Kihyun's lips as he kissed him.

"Hm," he answered, pulling Kihyun on top of him as he threw the covers over their bodies. "I think you might be right."

**Author's Note:**

> (Kihyun listening to a breathing meditation before seeing Changkyun naked is me.)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Hit me up on social media ~  
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